Tuesday, March 18, 2008

I'll Be The Best Pencil.

18.03.08
9.20pm

I Will Love You - Fisher
'Til my body is dust
'til my soul is no more
I will love you, love you
'Til the sun starts to cry
And the moon turns to rust
I will love you, love you

Chorus:
But I need to know - will you stay for all
Time...forever and a day
Then I'll give my heart 'til the end of all
Time...forever and a day

Chorus

'Til the storms fill my eyes
And we touch the last time
I will love you, love you...


Life took a 180 degrees turn last night. Jaydon's life is dependent on machines & tubes. He can't live on his own. He's artificially kept alive. His sister asked if I was willing to let him go. Its time now that I play my part. He had done alot for me. & Now its my turn to return him. Letting him go would end his sufferings naturally. & If that's the case, I will let him go. I'm sure he'll understand. His sister asked if i was willing to let him go feelings wise. No. It'd take a long time.

I met up with Jeslyn last Sunday to study between my ballet interval. We had some time left so I told her I wanted to look for sunflower seeds. We combed through the two supermarkets in Tampines Mall & Century Square & due to the fact that I had class later in the day, we were limited to only these two shopping malls. But when I was off for ballet, Jeslyn travelled all the way to Tanah Merah Floral to get the seeds for me. They didn't sell & despite giving up, she went to another shop to get it. Finally she managed to get some & was back just in time my ballet ends.

I just talked to her. & I was telling her how tiring life is all of a sudden. She broke into tears. She told me that friends are like pencils and hands to each other. We're just like pencils. A pencil has an eraser at its tip, it symbolises that all mistakes can be corrected & improved. Most importantly, a pencil has to have a lead in order to produce something. If we have good lead, we have good fluent production. If we have a bad one, it'll tend to break easily. Just like our character. Lastly, without the help of somebody's hand, it won't be able to work. & Friends are like your hands, helping you to express yourself, & somebody that guides you through. So its just a matter of whether you wish to seek help from your friends. For that, I'll be a great pencil to make Jeslyn & all my other friends great artists that sketches beautiful pictures.

I'm happy to know so many great friends around me. WeiTing, Jeslyn, Rachel, Ellie, Lixuan, Teri, Boo, ChenNing & the list goes on & on. As for Jaydon, he's one of the strongest people I've known in my life & I'm proud of him being able to have gone so far. I've decided to let his family make the decision. Its not easy to let go. But if its gonna make him feel less painful, its worth it. Afterall, its not the end yet.

"Whom I would love now and until
My heart beats its final note to life's great song

You will feel my love when we are apart
Knowing that nothing will change my heart

I'm sorry for the love you missed
leaving you helped me realize this

You'll feel my love even if we're apart
You'll know that we are one in heart."

-Jaydon :')

No comments: